At the Restaurant:
Two Pedophiles enjoying breakfast at a local restaurant were having a conversation.
First Ped: My latest little thing is a squirmer, but I always get her there.
Second Ped: Well mine is like a board she just lies there.
First Ped: You half to take your time with them, slowly they will come along.
Second Ped: Nope this girl is eleven and she will never be able to do anything but just lay there.
First Ped: Why do you say that?
Second Ped: Because shes dead.
First Ped: Dead, what do you mean?
Second Ped: Yeah Dead, she was that way when I grab her.
First Ped: Where did you get this one?
Second Ped: From the hospital morgue.
Jun 16, 2010
Jun 11, 2010
Today's Pedophile Joke
Q and A:
Q) Why did the old man hire the teenage girl to babysit?
A) He wanted to rock the cradle.
Jun 1, 2010
Today's Pedophile Joke
Q and A:
Q) Why do pedophiles favor 5-year-olds?
A) Because all 3 holes are still tight!!
May 24, 2010
Today's Pedophile Joke
Q and A:
Q) Daddy, Daddy! What is a pedophile?
A) Shut up son, and keep licking my balls.
May 18, 2010
Today's Pedophile Joke
A little girl runs into her Mommy's room and says, "Uncle Jimmy makes my poop hole hurt."
The mother replies, "He makes my poop hole hurt too."
The father, in the bathroom over hears this, comes out and says, "Wow, he's been busy, my poop hole also hurts!"
May 12, 2010
Today's Pedophile Joke
Q and A:
Q.) How come Michael Jackson was never been convicted of child abuse?
A.) Simple, why do think he kept a live Tiger on his property.
May 6, 2010
Today's Pedophile Joke
Q and A:
Q.) Why did Madonna final have children?
A.) Because she wanted live dolls to play with.
Apr 28, 2010
Today's Pedophile Joke
A lawyer and his pedophile client are walking down the street.
The Pedophile sees a 10-year-old little girl in her school uniform. He turns to the lawyer and says, "Wow I'd like to screw that."
The Lawyer replies, "Out of what?"
Apr 14, 2010
Today's Pedophile Joke
Q and A:
Q. The police in San Antonio Texas asked a Pedophile how many little girls he has had?
A. The Pedophile replies do you want me to include Illegal aliens in that number.
Mar 29, 2010
Today's Pedophile Joke
Q and A:
Q. How do you stop an 8-year old boy from choking?
A. Take your dick out of his mouth.
Mar 18, 2010
Today's Pedophile Joke
Q and A:
Q. What was the Pedophile’s answer when the police asked him why he had a
dog lease and collar on his 11-year-old little girl captive?
A. Officer’s I can’t lick my own balls so my little bitch does it for me.
Mar 7, 2010
Today's Pedophile Joke
Magic Juice:
Little Sussie comes running into her Mommy and says, "Uncle Timmy just shot some magic juice into my mouth and made me swallow it."
The mother shocked beyond belief and thinking the worse calls the police.
The police come and arrest the uncle as a pedophile.
After the police leave with Uncle Timmy in handcuffs, she notices a water pistol on the kitchen counter.
She asks Little Sussie why is a water pistol on the counter?
Little Sussie replies, 'Uncle Timmy brought it over. That's the magic juice."
The mother thinking fast smells the contents of the water pistol, it smells and looks like milk, so she tastes it. It is milk.
She quickly asks Little Sussie, "Is this the magic juice Uncle Timmy shot into your mouth?"
Little Sussie says, "Yes, that's it."
The mother in a near panic is wondering what she's going to tell her husband why his brother is in jail.
So she asks Little Sussie, "Why did your Uncle Timmy call it Magic Juice?"
Well Little Sussie explains, "Uncle Timmy took some milk out of the refigerator and poured it into a glass. Then he took is penis out and some stuff that looks like milk came out that he called magic juice. He mixed that with the milk, poured it in the water pistol he brought over, and shot it in my mouth and told me to swallow it. Mommy you drank some too, why is it called Magic Juice?"
The mother fainted.
Little Sussie comes running into her Mommy and says, "Uncle Timmy just shot some magic juice into my mouth and made me swallow it."
The mother shocked beyond belief and thinking the worse calls the police.
The police come and arrest the uncle as a pedophile.
After the police leave with Uncle Timmy in handcuffs, she notices a water pistol on the kitchen counter.
She asks Little Sussie why is a water pistol on the counter?
Little Sussie replies, 'Uncle Timmy brought it over. That's the magic juice."
The mother thinking fast smells the contents of the water pistol, it smells and looks like milk, so she tastes it. It is milk.
She quickly asks Little Sussie, "Is this the magic juice Uncle Timmy shot into your mouth?"
Little Sussie says, "Yes, that's it."
The mother in a near panic is wondering what she's going to tell her husband why his brother is in jail.
So she asks Little Sussie, "Why did your Uncle Timmy call it Magic Juice?"
Well Little Sussie explains, "Uncle Timmy took some milk out of the refigerator and poured it into a glass. Then he took is penis out and some stuff that looks like milk came out that he called magic juice. He mixed that with the milk, poured it in the water pistol he brought over, and shot it in my mouth and told me to swallow it. Mommy you drank some too, why is it called Magic Juice?"
The mother fainted.
Feb 22, 2010
Today's Pedophile Joke
Q and A:
Q) What does the Pedophile say to the little girl after he farts in her face?
A) Lick my butt hole or next time I'll crap all over you.
Feb 16, 2010
Today's Pedophile Joke
Q and A:
Q. What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole?
A. A pedophile.
Q. What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole?
A. A pedophile.
Feb 9, 2010
Today's Pedophile Joke
Q and A:
Q. What's black and blue and doesn't like sex?
A. The little boy in the trunk of my car.
Q. What's black and blue and doesn't like sex?
A. The little boy in the trunk of my car.
Feb 2, 2010
Today's Pedophile Joke
Q and A:
Q. What did the Jewish Pedophile say to the little boy once he was in the car?
A. "Hey, go easy on the candy!"
Jan 29, 2010
Today's Pedophile Joke
Q and A:
Q. What did the Pedophile say to the 10-year-old little girl after licking her anus
for 30 minutes?
A. Ok Honey this side is done please roll over.
Jan 16, 2010
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