Dec 24, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

Q and A:

Q. What does a Pedophile want for Christmas ?
A. A 12-year-old stocking stuffer !

Dec 8, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke



Q and A:

Q. What's the difference between a grocery bag and Michael Jackson?
A. One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with the other is
used to carry groceries.

Nov 10, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

Q and A:

Q. What do you do after you rape a 12 year old deaf, dumb, and blind girl?
A. Brake her fingers so she can’t tell her mom.

Nov 3, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

Q and A:

Q. What's the difference between acne and priests?
A. Acne comes on a boy's face AFTER he turns 13.

Oct 31, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

Q and A:

Q. Why do Pedophiles like to eat a little girl’s pussy?
A. Because they don’t smell yet.

Oct 22, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

Q and A:

Q. What's a Pedophiles favorite part of a hockey game?
A. Before the First Period.

Oct 16, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

Q and A:

Q. What has a 500 legs and no pubic hair?
A. The front row at an N SYNC concert.
A. All the girls at the Hanna Montana Concert.

Oct 5, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

Q and A:

Q. What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison?
A. "I feel like a kid again."

Oct 1, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

Famous Pedophile Pick-up Lines:

--- Do you want to see my puppy?
--- I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.
--- Lets both try on a ‘Condom’ to see how it fits.
--- If you rub my lamp a Genie will pop out.
--- Come here and blow on my magic flute.
--- Put your hand in my pocket for some candy.
--- Want to lick my lollipop?
--- Want to play with my puppy?
--- Your Mommy said it’s Ok !!
--- You have to swim in the pool naked.
--- Would you like a nice bubble bath?
--- Show me what do you have under that dress.
--- Lets play Ken and Barbie.
--- Come sit on my lap and we’ll play horsey.

Sep 23, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

Little Johnny comes running into the kitchen and says to his Mother, "Mommy Mommy guess what, Daddy just taught me how to masturbate."
The Mother some what taken back and surprised, looks at Little Johnny and says, "That's nice dear."
Little Johnny then asks his Mother, "But Mommy why did Daddy want me to shoot my goo into his mouth?"

Sep 17, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

A young girl goes to counseling with a Catholic Priest.
The girls says, "Father I am starting to develop, I just got my first period last month."
The priest replies, "That's nice child."
The young girl, wearing a tight tank top and no bra lifts up her top and asks the Priest, "Do you think I have nice boobs?"
The Priest replies, "Yes my child they are very nice."
The girl thinks to herself, Um, wonder what he is thinking about now.
So the girl, wearing a lose short skirt and no panties, stands up, lifts up her skirt and says, "Father what you think of my virgin pussy?"
The Priest replies, "It's very nice child."
The girl becoming frustrated blurts out, "Well Father, do you want this virgin pussy or not?"
The Priest smiles and says, "No my child, I am in a committed relationship with your young brother."

Sep 15, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

The Ten Levels of Thought for a Pedophile:

(1) Fantasy
(2) Obsession
(3) Abduction
(4) Perversion
(5) Smell It
(6) Lick It
(7) Have Your Way With It
(8) Photograph It
(9) Share the Pictures on the Internet
(10) Discard It

Sep 1, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

The First Time:

This won’t hurt sweetie.
But Daddy are you sure this is RIGHT ?

Aug 26, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

The Mother Wants to Know:

The mother of a teenage high school girl asks, "How come I don't see any of your underwear in the laundry anymore?"

The young teen girl replies, "Oh mother I don't wear panties anymore the principal likes me ready to go at a moments notice."

Aug 25, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

The Tattletale:

A little boy comes running in to his mother and says, "Johnny just Shit all over the dog.'

The mother, in shock, says: "Didn't I tell you not to curse young man, and what do you mean Johnny pooped all over the dog, explain yourself."

The little boy says, "Yes mommy Johnny pooped all over the dogs head. He held the dog down, then pooped on his head!"

The mother still in shock says, "Why did Johnny do that?"

The little boy says, "Well the dog humped Johnny's leg and wouldn't let go, so Johnny said he was gonna teach that dog a lesson."

The mother asks, "Did Johnny tell you what that lesson was?"

The little boy says, "This will teach him not to fuck with Johnny!"

Aug 21, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

Daddy Talking to His Little Girl …

Daddy: Lets play Mommy and Daddy.
Little Girl: Ok, but Mommy says you are really bad it.

Aug 19, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

Father Calling His Daughter:

Father: Come Here Sweetheart for Daddy.
Little Girl: But Daddy I don’t want to lick it again, you always put it up little Roy’s
butt hole first, and that chocolate taste just like shit to me.

Aug 14, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

A little boy comes home from church and asks his mother....

Mommy, is there a Devil?
The mother says, Yes.
The boy asks, Does he get inside of us?
The mother says, Sometimes.
The little boy says, Well I don't have the devil in me no more, Father Joe sucked him out and swallowed him this morning.

Aug 13, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

Eating Pussy:

A little boy runs into his mother, his face is all scratched up and bleeding.
The Mother says, "What happened to you?"
The Little Boy replies, "The neighbors cat did this to me."
The Mother asked, "How did it happen?"
The Little Boy says, "I heard Daddy talking on the phone to Uncle Bob. He was saying he loves to eat pussy."

Aug 11, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

A Night with the Boys:

Little Girl: Mommy can you ask Daddy not to play Poker anymore.
Mother: What do you mean child?
Little Girl: Well all the men got drunk and passed me around like I was a toy.

Aug 10, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

Hello little girl how would you like to get in my Van and play with my Puppy?

Aug 5, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

THE BIRD:

There was this guy sunbathing in the nude at the beach. Well, this little girl comes
up to him, so he covers his private parts with a newspaper.
The little girl says, "What's under there?"
So the man answers, "A bird."
The girl goes away and the man falls asleep. When he wakes up, he is in a hospital
and in great pain.
A doctor comes up to his bed and asks, "What happened?"
The man answers, "I don't know. I was at the beach and I fell asleep after talking to
a little girl."
So the doctor tells this to the Police, and they go to the beach to find any witnesses.
When they get there, they find the little girl the man was talking about.
So they ask her if she did anything to the man.
She answers, "I didn't do anything to the man, but while he was sleeping, I played
with his bird. After a while, it spit at me, so I broke its neck, burned its nest, and
smashed all its eggs!!"

Aug 3, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

Little Girl’s Conversation with her Mother:

Mother: Sherry what’s wrong, why are you crying?
Little Girl: Mommy Uncle Louie was taking the dog for a walk. The dog stopped and
took a pee on the neighbor’s tree. Uncle Louie then took his thing out and took a pee
on the tree.
Mother: That damn Uncle Louie of yours. But Sherry why are you crying?
Little Girl: Mommy I told Uncle Louie I had to pee. So he said go ahead. I pulled up
my dress and peed next to the tree. Uncle Louie still had his thing out when a policeman came by. The police arrested Uncle Louie and the dog ran away.

Jul 27, 2009

Jul 23, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

Mommy the ice cream man gave me a free sundae.
It came with his specially made whipped cream topping.
But why did he use his penis to make it?

Jul 20, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

Daddy can I suck your cock this time before you put it up brother’s butt hole?

Jul 18, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

Mommy Mommy the principal spanked me today.
He said I have the nicest ass he’s ever seen.

Jul 15, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

Redneck Sex:

Get off me, Daddy! Yore crushin' mah cigarettes!

Jul 13, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

Little Suzzie comes running into tell her Mommy....
Mommy Mommy, Johnny shots his stuff all over my panties again.
The mother asks, Did you lock your bedroom door as Daddy told you. You know he sneaks in while your away or in the shower.
No Mommy answers Suzzie, this time I was wearing them!

Jul 10, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

Mommy Daddy makes my poop hurt.

Yeah I know, he makes my poop hurt too!

Jul 9, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

A 13-year-old dumb blond comes running into her Mommy and says...
Mommy, learning my A, B, D's makes my head hurt. I'll never get into high school.

The mother looks at her daughter and says,
Now now don't worry just sleep with all your teachers and you'll pass.

Jul 8, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

Mommy, Mommy - Daddy just spanked me for having sex with Ronnie!
But honey, Ronnie is the dog!?!
I know Mommy but his thing is so BIG....

Jul 7, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

Young Girl running around the house naked: Mommy, Mommy; Daddy is trying get me pregnant.
Mother yelling back: Better you than me!

Jul 6, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

A ittle boy comes running into his father and says,
Daddy, Daddy I think you should have the babbysitter, I hear she's really good!

Jul 1, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

The Dog:

Little Girl: Mommy Mommy the dog keeps sniffing my pussy.
Mother: I told you to wear panties in the house.

Jun 22, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

Little Debbie:

Debbie: But Daddy, I don’t want to do it anymore.
The Dad: Debbie you only have to do it with me for two more years then
I’ll do your younger sister and leave you alone.

Jun 12, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

Girl Calling Out for Her Mother:

Suzzie: Mother please come her, Daddy is fucking me again.
Mother: Sorry dear when he is doing you he’s leaving me alone.

Jun 4, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

Little Mary:
Priest: Mary lets go into my office.
Mary: But Daddy your going to get my church dress dirty.
Priest: Now Mary I told you never to call me Daddy unless we are alone.
Otherwise you call be Father like everyone else.
Mary: Okay!

May 26, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

Who’s a Slut:
Little Girl: Mommy Mommy the boys at school called me a slut.
Mother: Did you tell the teacher?
Little Girl: He was the one who started it.

May 18, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

Little Suzzie and The Pedophile:

Little Suzzie is approached by a Pedophile.
The man asks, “Would you like to taste my salami?”
Little Suzzie replies, “No thanks, I tasted Little Johnny’s yesterday and I’ve decided I only want meat that has been cooked.”

May 14, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

(Q) - How many pedophiles does it take to fool the police?

(A) - Just one if he is a Catholic Priest!

May 8, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

Drug Store:
A man walks into a drugstore and heads for the pharmacy counter.
He says, "I need some birth control."
Seeing the puzzled look on the pharmacists face, he goes on to say:
"It’s for my 12-year old daughter."
The pharmacist asks, "Is your 12-year old daughter sexually active?"
The man replies, "No, she just lays there and takes it like her mom."

May 6, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

Some Balls:
Man: Hey little girl I put my balls on your mommy's chin last night. How would you like me to do that with you?
Little Girl: Oh Daddy, you know your balls are too big for my little chin and they'll just slide off again.

May 4, 2009

Today's Pedophile Joke

The Little Boy, the Sailor, and the Marine:
One day, a little boy was peeing in a public restroom when a sailor walked in.
"Wow, mister! Are you a real sailor?"
"I sure am. Would you like to wear my hat?"
"Yeah! Awesome!" said the little boy and starting jumping for joy. Soon, a Marine walked in.
"Wow, mister! Are you a real Marine?"
"I sure am. Would you like to suck my dick?"
"Oh, no, mister I'm not a real sailor. I'm just borrowing the hat."

May 3, 2009

Some Very Funny Pedophile Jokes

These jokes are coming soon, too this Blog, for your amusement.

WARNING:
Adult Content, no one under 18-years-old should view or read this material.
This Blog and the Jokes are for humor purposes only.
This material may offend some people.